Title: 10 Fairness Tips

It's what we all learned in kindergarten—be nice, take turns, play fair. Here are my 10 fairness tips.
  1. Give up the certainty that you're right.
  2. Learn about your blind spots in love and fairness.
  3. Take a look at the "shoulds" for what partners owe to and deserve from each other.
  4. Keep a good balance between give and take with your partner.
  5. Show appreciation often. If you didn't have to do it (clean up, cook, take out the trash, get up in the middle of the night with the baby), say "thank you." Offer specific acknowledgments—they are more heartfelt than just a general thanks.
  6. If you were unfair, own up to it. Everyone is unfair sometimes. When you are—take responsibility—it's the best natural medicine for a partner's hurt feelings.
  7. Replace blame with claims. Instead of complaining...ask for what you need.
  8. Stop fighting to win, and start caring about your partner's perspective. Try to see it her way/his way...from all sides
  9. Stop keeping score.
  10. Back-up the feelings of love with the actions of fairness.
Everyone has a pet peeve and a tip that has helped. Add your comments to the Being Fair In Love and Marriage Blog.